Our goal is to provide information, ideas and support for working women who are also full-time mothers.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Why I work (addendum)

I just wanted to see that my last "Why I work" post was written on an extremely lucid day. Today I'm having a hard time remembering why I work! The last couple days of my maternity leave have been wonderful and I just want to stay home with my girls forever!!

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Next Week's Topic

Check back next week to when the topic will be "Moms over 35 and working."

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Why I work

Like all the women that have posted on this subject already, I have many reasons for being a working mother. Yes, it is necessary for me to have a paying job outside of the home. My husband works in the construction trades and the small company he works for cannot provide health insurance to our family. Well, they can, but we would be paying hundreds of dollars per month just to have the insurance and it wouldn't be good coverage. So that is my number 1 reason for working. I work for a company that provides excellent health coverage for the entire family and in this day and age, that's worth having a job alone. The company I work for is also incredibly family-friendly, so taking time off for illnesses, doctor appointments, school functions, etc. is encouraged! I am lucky in that regard.

Beyond the financial necessity, I enjoy working. I did not have my first child until I was 30 years old and I had spent my 20's building a career. I get a lot of satisfaction out of going to work everyday, getting personal fulfillment in a job well done, and contributing to the household. I always knew I would be a working mother, that staying home was not for me. I believe I am providing a lot of value to my children by showing them you can have a career and a family and enjoy both. My mom did it, and I am not damaged by the fact that she worked outside the home! Looking back, I admire her for being able to do both successfully. I hope I can do as well with my children as she did with hers. Besides, we need good females in the workplace. Not just single or childless women, but women with life experience and motherhood provides a lot of that. Some of the best managers in business are also moms! This is no coincidence--the jobs are very similar as you all know. Being a working mom is not an easy job, but it's rewarding in so many ways. I think it's time we celebrated that!

Why I work

The question of why I work has many answers. To be honest, I always expected to be a working mom. It wasn't until my first daughter was born, and I was faced with the prospect of going back to work after my maternity leave, that I realized I would love to be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, it's just not practical. Could we survive without my income? Probably. Although I do think we'd have to sell our modest 2-bedroom house and live in an apartment, sell one of our cars, etc. There are people out there who think less of me for not being willing to make those sacrifices. To me it is not worth it. I hate the misconception that all working moms work for extravagances. We do not live extravagantly. We don't have cable or satellite TV, our house is small, we buy our cars used (one is a 1995), we have one cell phone with the cheapest package possible which we use for emergencies, etc. We worry about bills and money. But we are able to provide our girls with little things we wouldn't be able to do without my income such as a zoo membership, camping trips, outings to a drive-in movie, etc. Oh yeah, and of course our house and yard, which is important to me.

What I did do when I went back to work was go down to "part-time" (30 hours a week). I was extremely lucky to work for a company that was willing to accommodate me rather than lose me. I still have to be there 5 days a week, but it's only 6 hours a day. My oldest daughter loves her daycare and her friends there. We are home on maternity leave now and she misses it. We use a small in-home daycare with only 4 kids besides mine. She's basically there for two meals, nap time and a play session with her friends. I can't feel guilty about that. I do not feel like anyone else is "raising" her, she has never forgotten who I am, etc. (These were the things I was worried about when I first left her there.) She just has more people that love her.

And I can't lie, I do like getting out of the house, having adult interaction, contributing to our income, etc. While I dream at being a stay-at-home mom sometimes, I have no regrets. We don't have a lot of money, but I think my kids have a good life and I'm setting a good example for my girls.

Whatever you do, don't assume I'm not a "full-time mom" because I work outside the home. When that phrase is used to describe moms who are able to stay home with their kids, I feel a tightening in my gut. I do not hang up my mom hat when I walk into my office building. I am always a mom, first and foremost. It's the best job I could have ever asked for.

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Monday, April 10, 2006

Why I Work.......

Like the other working mommies this is not an easy question for me to answer. I suppose the first and foremost thought of why I work that comes to mind is money. We need the money. But to be honest my husband and I could make drastic changes to our life style (smaller home, older cars, less shoes...GASP) and we could make it on his income alone. But we need my income to support the kind of lifestyle we want. Does that make us shallow?? I don't know......I don't feel like I'm shallow.

I also enjoy the adult interaction and the sense of accomplishment I get from working. I guess some would say that the one greatest accomplishment in the world is raising your kids. And while I would agree with them completely I also need the sense of accomplishment I get from meeting my deadlines and having someone send me email saying what a fantastic job I did on something. Does that make me selfish?? I don't know....I don't feel selfish?

One thing that makes me extremely lucky is that I found the best daycare/preschool for my 2 1/2 year old son. He has been going there since he was 7 weeks old and I just adore all the teachers. My sons face just lights up when he see's his friends and teachers. He learns so much more than I think I could ever teach him. Just this weekend he showed me the title page in his Thomas the Tank Engine book. I certainly didn't teach him about the title page. His teachers push his development where I feel myself wanting to hold back because.....well he's my baby. Like some of the other mommies here I just can not see myself staying home every day with my son. There are those mommies who have these great activities planned with the kids, arts and crafts, etc. And I look at them in amazement wondering how they even thought of those things. I am just not that creative.

I also work for my insurance benefits. My husbands benefits in a word are awful. The monthly premiums are ridiculously high and the copays are enough to make me avoid the doctor's office even if I had a temperatue of 102 and couldn't get up off the bathroom floor for 3 days. My insurance benefits are absolutely wonderful. Extremely low premiums and low copays. The sense of security I feel by providing that to my family of 5 is priceless.

I think the decision to work or not to work is as complex as we women are to the core.

Sam

Why do I work? (Lois)

I work because basicly if I didn't we'd be homeless. Although my husband is the most fabulous husband and father and person I've ever met, he just doesn't make enough money for me to stay home. I know he feels bad as we watch all his other friends wives stay home with their children. I make over twice what he does so it would be insane for me to stay home. We've talked times about him staying home but he just doesn't think it's something he could do day after day.

To be honest I'm not sure it is something I could do every day 365 days a year. I often look at stay at home moms with envy when I go out at lunch time and they are running errands with their children. But some Mondays I'm just glad to be able to escape back to my desk and away from the constant responsiblity of being mom. Ok, I there I said it. Being a mom is tough and some days going to work is just easier. Plus the challenge and accomplishments of my work are very rewarding. I have the opportunity to interact with my peers.

Don't get me wrong many days I long to roll over in bed and just sleep an extra hour or cuddle with my little ones instead of treking into work. Especially when the little guys are sick and crying for their mommy and I'm not there. Can you say QUILT?!?! Or when the weather gets nice as it's starting to do here and I could be outside playing with them instead of locked into an office.

This is my lot in life: Working Mom, the good and the bad.